As I’m writing this post, I’m reflecting on a lot of past thoughts and experiences with comparing myself to others. In reality, I do this often and I get zero benefits from it.
This past week has actually been the worst for me when it comes to comparing myself to others. When I feel lost or negative about a certain thing, I end up doing a ton of research and online work to get to the root of my problems and also how I can fix my issues.
Writing this post is not only for all of you to benefit from, but for me to look back at it and remind myself how to feel better.
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Why you should stop comparing yourself to others:
- You are seeing people’s best version of themselves online or in person. Is there someone on Facebook that seems to have every little thing together? It’s simply because they don’t share the negative parts of their life, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. For me, I don’t like showing even an ounce of negativity on my Facebook. Being positive and optimistic about my life is something I hold dear to me because I lived SO long in a negative state of mind. In the end, realize what you are seeing online is not everyone’s real story. Many people are going through ups and downs, and not everything is showcased in real life as well.
- I believe each person who has set foot on this earth has something beautiful to offer. Instead of wishing you were better at a certain thing than that person, realize that they have great qualities. Better yet, instead of being jealous and comparing yourself, ask them to make you better at that certain quality.
- Someone might be better at playing guitar or drawing than you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have amazing qualities to share as well. When we start comparing ourselves to others, we start thinking about all of the horrible things about ourselves. (Or at least what we think is horrible.)
How you can stop comparing yourself to others:
1. Live by Dr. Seuss and the many wonderful quotes.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive Youer than You.” I could be getting this totally wrong, but in my mind, I’m hearing this as appreciating who I am as an individual. I’m different than any other human being in the world and have unique traits to offer.
2. Don’t compete with others.
Be the best version of you and if you have to compete with anyone, compete with yourself. What exactly are you comparing yourself to others? Work on getting better at that specific thing and realize people do things and look differently.
For example: Do you remember having a conversation with your friend about their naturally curly hair, wishing you had those luscious curls in the morning, rather than your stick thin hair? Vice versa. You might not be too fond of something physically, but someone else wishes they had it. Truth is, everyone has beauty to them and our physical qualities are all different.
3. Be realistic.
If you compare yourself to others physically, that can turn quite dangerous. If your phone is loaded with photos of women with perfect bodies (that you got online that are most likely photoshopped) this can get pretty dark and shady for you. You’ll continually try to achieve goals that are possibly out of reach and that will only lessen your confidence and make you compare yourself to others even more.
4. Spend time on a new hobby.
Start a new hobby and work weekly on it to get as good as you possibly can at it. Not only will working on the hobby get your mind off certain matters, you’ll also gain confidence from reaching new goals. Try something you think is daring and adventurous. Get outside of your comfort zone. This is when change happens.
So why we do compare ourselves to others? I believe it’s because we aren’t currently happy with our current selves. We have insecurities and instead of thinking about everything we succeed at, we dwell on the traits that we aren’t satisfied with. Work on yourself daily, gain confidence and continually try new things. Surprise yourself and realize that stopping these negative thoughts is a process, but is definitely worth the time to decrease, or potentially end it altogether.
Remember: “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive You-er than You.”
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