I went from overweight to skinny, back to being overweight and then skinny again. I never went into losing weight with the right mindset, and I never did it for the right reasons.
Whenever I tried losing weight, I always thought it needed to be done as fast as possible. I wasted years and years trying to lose a bunch of weight in a week, and sometimes I would even lose the weight.
Of course I would gain back more weight than I originally lost to begin with. I would soon come to realize that this wasn’t the way to lose weight.
I would go without eating for more than half the day, and then when I did eat… I would raid the refrigerator like it was the last day the world would exist. The foods I would eat were not even remotely healthy.
My meals would usually consist of 2 packs of korean noodles (filled with sodium) and then I would overload it with hot sauce and vinegar. I was basically eating a bunch of ramen everyday. Thinking back on it now, I just want to smack myself in the face for doing so much damage to my body. I would never drink water, eat vegetables, or fruits.
I spent many days at the buffet eating with my mom. She would ask me about 2 times a month to go to the casino buffet nearby, and I usually had about 5 plates of food and dessert as well. I remember coming home one day and the weight scale rose about 7-10 pounds. I looked down at the numbers and was at a complete loss of words.
I still remember that day and looking down at the scale, and it brings back dark memories of how much I hated myself.
My lifestyle is so much different now. I tend to be hard on myself sometimes still, but writing this out and showing myself how much I changed by words and not only by progress pictures, really helps. I drink tons of water now, and eat plenty of vegetables and fruits.
I eat eggs daily, and try to pack in some protein at each meal to keep me full and going strong throughout the day. I find workouts that keep me interested and I like to incorporate different physical activities each week. Although I get hard on myself for wasting so much time doing things the wrong way, I am very thankful for the process and how much knowledge I’ve gained.
I’ve read so many books that taught me so much to get me where I am now. I’ve read so many blogs and quotes that motivate me and inspire me everyday. I used to beat myself up when I wouldn’t get progress as soon as others, but I eventually realized this my own journey and I will enjoy and love the process.
This is my life and I want to live it happily.