Long Distance Relationships And My Personal Life

Long Distance Relationships And My Personal LifeLong-distance relationships are something most people believe to bring failure. In the US alone, there are a whopping 14-15 million people in long distance relationships. When couples go off to college and separate, they are left facing a scary question: Should we breakup or stay together?

About 35% of long distance relationships are from college students and a surprising 75% of engaged couples have at one time in their relationship been long distance. Also, about 3% of marriages are long distance relationships in the United States.

I wanted to talk about this topic because frankly, I will be in a long distance relationship in less than a month. The thought of it terrifies me and I was always hoping I wouldn’t be a victim of it, but is that a positive way to look at it?

Not at all.

My boyfriend is going to China.

When my boyfriend first told me that he was leaving for China for about a year, my heart dropped. This is something that was floating around our relationship a lot and bringing us down plenty.

We faced many dark times in our relationship because of this matter. He is such a courageous, passionate man who is very determined to accomplish his dreams and goals. He has inspired me more than anyone in my entire life. We had first planned to go to Chicago together, but the plans changed. Certain personal things in our lives were getting in the way of this plan going smoothly, so now we have to be apart for a year. I like to say 10-11 months because that’s how long it truly is, and it sounds less painful haha.

I attached some links that go along with long distance relationships and talk all about them. If you are in a long distance or have or going to be in one, please feel free to talk to me. I would honestly love to talk to anyone who has experienced it before because I feel like quite a baby. I feel like I shouldn’t be so whiny about this because people who are married in the military are faced with much harder times.

“Despite what many people believe, LDRs do not break up at any greater rate than more traditional, geographically close, couples. Multiple studies comparing LDRs to geographically close couples find the same rates of breaking up over time.”

I found this statistic on one of the attached articles below. Reading this actually surprised me, but why I am so surprised? Because over the years any time someone was in a long distance relationship, all I heard were negative things from outsiders. Things like, “Oh they’ll never last”. Who are we to make that assumption?

I know for a fact that this is going to be a truly difficult task I will be facing over the course of the next year. Will this work out? I sure hope so. All I know now is having a negative attitude isn’t going to do me or my relationship any good whatsoever.

Now for the positives and what I am excited for when it comes to an LDR.

  • I have all the time for myself. I have unlimited time to hangout and meet new friends. I get to grow and learn all I can about myself. I am in my years of molding into the woman I will be for the rest of my life.
  • I get to focus on school, work, and FITNESS! This has given me extra motivation to workout and eat healthier. I can admit I’ve been slacking off lately and maybe it’s because I’m comfortable in my relationship. (My boyfriend and I LOVE eating and going to all kinds of restaurants.) Without him being with me, I won’t be going out to restaurants nearly as much and spending money…I get to save money as well!
  • I am going to really work on getting the bikini body that I want. I want to become leaner overall and having so much time for myself will really let me focus on myself and my body.

I will be updating monthly on long distance relationships and the challenges I am faced with. I will also talk about all of the things I LOVE about long distance relationships.

If you are still reading, thank you for listening. Writing about this was extremely difficult but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

In the end of all of this, I feel like my father would be so happy for me and my boyfriend. My dad was always traveling the world and has seriously been EVERYWHERE. I know for a fact if he was here, my boyfriend and father would be talking about all of the amazing places they’ve been and seen… And that makes me feel really happy.

If I can surpass this pain from being away from my best friend and all of the tough times we may face, than I believe we will be able to get through absolutely anything, and that is a relationship I DEFINITELY want to be in. =)




Image via Flickr by horiavarlan

Goals For August

Goals For August August is soon approaching and I’m coming to a realization that I am moving soon. I will be leaving the state and moving away 5-6 hours from all the people I’ve grown close with the past few years.

I will be living with total strangers and as planned, I don’t plan on living in St. Louis again. Unless for some crazy reason I decide I want to live here after school. I don’t see that happening, but you never know.

I decided to write out my August goals because it makes the goals more tangible. I’ll get to remember my goals and in September, I’ll talk about whether or not I completed my goals.

1. My moving date.

First off, my goal is to have everything moved into my new residence by August 12th. This goal will be pretty easy to accomplish unless I get in a bad accident.

Bad joke, I know.

2. My eating habits.

My second goal is to only eat out once or twice a week at the most. I don’t think this will be very hard to accomplish at all since I won’t really know anyone at all to even go out to eat with.

The friends I do have in the area live about 50 minutes away, so I know I won’t be seeing them on a regular basis problem. Time to make some friends that live in my city or go to my school.

3. My comfort zone.

My third goal is to get out of my comfort zone. As my move is soon approaching, I am coming to realize it’s going to really teach me a lot about myself. I have to say I’ve become incredibly independent the past few years.

I’ve lived on my own without any parents, or even parents giving me any money. I’ve purchased my own car, all the necessities I need to survive, and enrolled in school all by myself. I haven’t received much help from anyone and that’s actually a great feeling.

I’ve become so incredibly strong inside and out (biceps are getting stronger as well, haha.) So to get back to the point, I want to come out of my comfort zone so much. I basically have no choice when I move next month because I won’t really know anyone in my city. I know I’m going to be terrified, but I know I’ll overcome it.

4. Good deeds.

My fourth goal is to do a good deed once a day. I want to start-up more volunteer projects and help as many people as I can around me. Not only fitness wise, but people who are need of food, shelter, and so on.

5. My budget.

My fifth goal is to come up with a budget plan for the 2014-2015 school year. My plan is to volunteer is Costa Rica in May 2015 for the IVHQ program overseas. I have been studying Spanish and going to try my hardest to get a Spanish tutor once I live in Chicago (if money isn’t too much of a problem). This program in Costa Rica offers a special education program so I could work with children with disabilities.

I have also been looking into living with a host family in Italy and teaching children English.

I am TEFL certified now and it’s crazy how companies in other countries are emailing me in search of a teacher!

What are your goals for the month of August?


Image via Flickr by cambodia4kidsorg

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